Tag: mainvibes

Every year thousands of people complete training to become Counsellors, Psychotherapists and Life Coaches or Business Coaches, yet recent statistics suggest that only 20% of these go on to become professionals.

What is it that makes the difference between a successful professional and a keen amateur? How do some set up highly successful private practices yet others falter at the very beginning?

Having worked as a counsellor, online counsellor and Life Coach for over 30 years and taught on numerous graduate and post graduate counselling and coaching courses I have seen literally thousands of young, and not so young, but certainly very hopeful, students go through the training system to become professional therapists, but I know that only a small percentage will be working in paid therapy one year after training.

So what goes wrong?

There are a few things that you really need to know that will make all the difference which I try to drive home to all my students. Some students listen and some of them have gone on to be highly paid professionals earning far more than I will ever see in my life.

So, armed with 30 years of experience of being paid to provide counselling, and therapy these are the things that I believe need to be passed on.

The Therapeutic Mess

Firstly I would like to acknowledge what might be called an industry secret…if indeed counselling and life coaching can be seen as an industry.

Counselling, coaching and therapy of all kinds is a messy business. The counselling room or therapy centre sees a lot of emotion. People in counselling are often distressed and upset, they may be angry and they often cry, or shout and sometimes are hostile and aggressive, especially if they have been made to attend counselling by a friend or relative or even a court of law.

Being around raw and often unexpected emotion for a job, all day, five or six days a week takes a toll, especially on sensitive people who are often the ones drawn into counselling. You have to be well put together and quite emotionally resilient. It's an odd combination to have isn't it.

On one hand you do have to be sensitive and receptive to how people are feeling and what's going on, but on the other hand you have to be resilient enough to be able to pack it away at the end of the session and prepare for the next client, and then the one after that and the one after that, all day and all week long.

It's not an easy job, and many fledgling counsellors and therapists vote with their feet. It's hard work and there are definitely easier ways to make a living.

Counselling training often gives the impression that there is a smooth process whereby if certain procedures or principles are adhered to, the outcomes will be positive.

This is rarely the case. Even for structured therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, 12 Step Therapy or any other manualised therapy there is an awful lot of mess, and by this I mean times that either go very wrong or veer wildly off track. Why?

Simply because all of us do odd things, we don't work like we're supposed to, we do things wrong, or impulsively, or say things that aren't true or that we want to be true but aren't. People also get angry and distressed, especially if they are seeking help, they are likely to be more vulnerable and less steady than they might ordinarily be.

Even an innocuous (but powerful) counselling strategy like Simple Reflective Listening can provoke an unexpected multitude of powerful emotions that are not easy to cope with, let alone shape into a healthy therapeutic format.

This unexpected stress and messiness turns off lots of potential counsellors and therapists right from the start.

It's an awful feeling sitting in front of somebody in distress and not knowing what to do or what to say. It isn't like the classroom role plays, or case studies in text books. It often defies logic and reasoning, but it's how we all are, ie. a bit odd.

Counselling: Half Science, Half Art

So, if you survive the initial shock of entering into an unknown world where unexpected things happen and the stuff you have learnt in the counselling classroom doesn't work, what then?

One of the most useful things that was passed onto me right at the beginning nearly 30 years ago when I met my first counselling supervisor, is that good counselling is half science and half art.

I am often reminded of this and believe that it is very true. You need to have the science, i.e. you need to know what you're doing, have a strong idea of how you are helping people change, be able to follow a counselling system or a manualised therapy. But, you also need to be able to think quickly and creatively when it all goes wrong.

You can't put your finger on the pause button and have a think about what to do next. You need to be able to change direction and come up with the right move there and then in the moment, not next week. The healthy combination of art and science is a constant dynamic that runs through all good counselling practice.

The Law of Non Specifics

Many years ago when I was studying Mental Health at Kings College in London, I came across a little bit of research that had a profound effect on me and that I have remembered and thought about ever since. It's called the Law of Non Specifics, which states that therapy and counselling often work due to many nonspecific elements that are almost impossible to measure and quantify.

These range from things like sharing a sense of humour with your therapist to feeling comfortable in their office. These things, along with countless other small non specific elements which have a bearing on the counselling process all add up to the whole and make the therapy or counselling work or not.

I used to see a counselling supervisor, not because he was a great supervisor and held useful insight into the work with my clients but because we supported the same football team and would often talk about football at the end of our session. All these little things should not be underestimated.

It's sometimes these little things that make the difference between success and https://mainvibes.com/ failure.

I'm sure there are many other important things to pass on which make the difference between working as a successful counsellor, coach or therapist and bailing out early on in the process, but for what it's worth these are three things which I believe make all the difference and that I have never seen published anywhere else.

For more in depth information about and counselling and also online counselling and do have a look through these pages.

Thanks for reading

Alex.

I write about all things connected with how and why we make changes in our lives. I’ve worked as a life coach, counsellor, online counsellor and teacher for 30 years and latterly as a lecturer for University of Plymouth specialising in motivation and behaviour change.

Contact me here